Well. Rag STARTED out fun, became a chore in the middle and I tried to make it fun for myself at the end. Yishan and I were 自-highing throughout the front segment while they were still playing their medley of old pop songs, before the programme proper started. It was nice watching the other faculties' dances too (and I have to say this again, Medicine's was the best!) and we had a blast afterwards at Munchie Monkey's. That was it. Finito. Finally the end of our thankless labour. But it seems that I thought wrongly. I was terribly disappointed to find in my email inbox, the beginnings of an email war. Rag was supposed to help bond the OG. And I do have to admit that I feel closer to those who came down on as many days as I did (like.. 6 or 7, I do believe), while those who didn't, or rarely came down have started fading into the distant background of goat heads, watermelon-eating contests and black pepper chicken dishes. But.. I didn't know there was so much unspoken animosity underneath. I don't feel like fuelling the email war, so I shall (try to) not reply there, but I am going to make my views known here.

Loudly and clearly. Publicly. Here me roar.

Firstly, I do not think that the individual who sent out the first confounded email was being very fair. The email in question suggested that only those who helped out on the very last leg of Rag preparations did any work at all, meanwhile conveniently neglecting the work of the rest of the OG who put in days and days of effort into constructing that float prior to that day of rushed, last minute work. Perhaps you could attribute this to feelings of resentment for my work being unacknowledged, for the sacrifices I had to make being unappreciated. Fine. So be it. But what I absolutely, absolutely will NOT take lying down is the accusation that those who didn't go on the last day for last-minute ragging have NO CONSCIENCE. I, too, saw the tired faces of the M2s. I, too, tried my very best to help out whenever I could, however I could, by coming down as much as possible, by staying as late as possible without neglecting my other duties or incurring the wrath of my mother. But I draw the line at missing the day my father comes home from overseas. I draw the line at spending my birthday steeped in newspaper and glue. I draw the line at that. But it does not mean that I've not made any sacrifices for rag. I've given up a rather lucrative emergency relief teaching job at RGS (which I must say, would probably be more fulfilling than rag, too). I've sacrificed my sleep and yes, my health too. Imagine this - I wake up bright and early to be at rag at 10, work until past 6, rush home to be in time for dinner at 730 with the rush hour crowd, then rush out of the house yet again (after freaking GOBBLING my food down) to be at my tutee's house by 8, finally reaching home at 10+, exhausted.. not to rest, but to honour my other commitments that I've pushed back for rag. I stay up until 3 or 4am to code Sin Yong's website (which is done, thankfully), help people photoshop various things, I collapse onto the bed for 4 or 5 hours before waking up at 8 to WOWEE! get to NUS in time for YET another day of so-kool ragging. And I believe I'm not just speaking for myself. Nazrul and Tammy took leave (and hence, pay cut) to come down to help out. Shauna came down when she could in between water polo trainings. There are probably more stories which I don't know or haven't heard about, and hence can't mention here. But I guess in taking stock of the sacrifices you made, you forgot about, or didn't bother finding out about. We all made sacrifices for this blasted event, perhaps some more than others, but all of them I think should be recognized and acknowledged, not blanked in a blatantly accusatory email. As for responsibility.. I, too, feel responsible for rag. I am the type of person who believes that if you're involved in something, whether willingly or not, since you're at it, you might as well make the best of it. Make it a blast. Do it well. Whichever. So yes, it was partially out of a sense of responsibility for seeing something that we had started to completion that I dragged myself down to school on days that I woke up bleary-eyed, headachey, runny-nosey or whatever. Nothing paracetamol can't solve. But I have other responsibilities too. I have tuition kids, whose CA2 exams are coming up really soon. I am answerable to them and to their parents, not just for their marks in the upcoming exam, but also for their education in general. So, in balancing those responsibilities, I'm sorry if I've stepped on people's toes to do that, but I think I've done a pretty darn good job with this juggling act.

And then there were the insinuations about lack of compassion. I'm really SORRY, but I feel insulted by that. I don't see how not answering the call for YET ANOTHER last minute rag session makes me uncompassionate. Yes I know the M2s were drowning in a pile of work, but well! there are only so many times last minute rag sessions DON'T clash with other pre-arranged activities. I don't think it's very fair for my tuition kid if I change her tuition time slot so very late at night! And really, don't talk to me about lack of compassion. I've sponsored Cambodian kids whom I don't see anymore for English lessons. I've undercharged tuition fees for poorer students. I've been volunteering at RenCi under my own volition, no CIP records or anything. So yeah, don't try that with me. I think almost the whole OG made a concerted effort to go down many extra days, and volunteered on many occasions to help. Perhaps that day was just one time too many, perhaps it was simply way too late at night to move our commitments. But please, don't make accusations without knowing the reasons behind people's actions.

(Yes, this is as objective as I can get. My power tripped and I had the time to re-think as I retyped.)

of flag.
I guess Julia's facebook status put it best: "... prefers guys whose cans are filled". I suppose it's superficial to judge people's efforts by the fullness of their cans (because really, sometimes you just get unlucky), but I dunno :\ since you're out there, you might as well give your all, right? Haha oh well! I had fun flagging, despite my run in with that IDIOT GUY FROM BUSINESS RAWR. Quan You and I came up with the idea that I should ask the schoolboys and that he should ask the schoolgirls (and Filipino maids!!), with the result that we'd get most of the donations. Which worked partially, I guess. But at any rate! We collected a whopping 8k (plus or minus 100)! So all the medicine flaggers deserve a pat on the back :D and some deserve two! hahah AND our efforts were rewarded with an award for Best Improvement by % for Flag Collections! Ok and I'm drained from typing the previous part >< So I shall let pictures do the talking.

Before flag!


counting coins (:

of zabeo outings.
I'm losing steam writing such a long entry haha. I think our OG is in general, pretty happening. Three outings since medicamp is a pretty good record, right? Last Wednesday? we went to Sentosa! In typical mass outing fashion, we had junk food, cards, beach ball, frisbee.. all set for a long day of fun, fun, fun! The weather was a tad too hot, and I ended up with tan lines.. but not as weird as Yishan's but I shan't post her tanline photos since I don't have her permission to hahaha.

beautiful :D


Quan You the evil dunker --"


Finally getting his comeuppance! But he's superrrr heavy haha look at Benjamin's pained face as his muscles strain to lift Quan You's bulk :X And yes, I'm wet because I got dunked ><


us :D


After our pretty sumptuous but somewhat expensive dinner at Vivo! Bingxing and somebody said that they saw a gay couple and attempted to bring us all to see them --"

And on the Wednesday recently past, we went to Mind Cafe! I suppose I might be biased, but I really do prefer the Settler's at Clarke Quay more than Mind Cafe! (I know Yi Quan had a lot of complaints about the one at Holland, but I've never been there so I guess I can't pass any comment..) Typical usual screaming fun (: Xin Yi got bullied as usual at all the reaction time games >< but then we played Squint, which is a kind of charades cum pictionary combined thing, except you used pre-drawn shapes or lines to try to form a picture of your word, and you're allowed to make the whole thing move. She cleverly put a CIRCLE and a WAVEY LINE together, so naturally we were guessing, sperm! tadpole! insemination! fertilisation! lizard! but it was a MOUSE =.=

group shot!


Before we had our 4-person dinner at Cafe Cartel, we met this mascot for some newly opened rib restaurant..

Okay! That's it! I'm super drained from writing so much in such a short time. So I had no mood to gaussian blur the background of the pictures and all that ><

Monday, 4th August 2008, 22:22

Tagged by Khai & Jianwei ><

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs.
B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag that person.
C) Continue this game by sending it to other people.

#1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
Question the degree of love and trust in the relationship.. probably be hurt, angry and confused for a few days before talking it over and deciding on a rational course of action!

#2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
Good career + family life! together with ENOUGH SLEEP

#3. What will your dream wedding be like?
On a keelboat :D without a big bushy messy dress, with family and friends dancing in the sun, the sea and the wind (:

#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
Ah. I already made the most difficult decision of my life. I still occasionally wonder if it was the "better" decision, but I've got my whole life and career path planned out ahead of me! It's just that last factor that remains in question.. but I should be able to accomplish it anyway (:

#5. What’s your ideal lover like?
One who supplements my weaknesses, complements my strengths.. and is willing to be dragged out to sea every now and then!

#6. Which is more blessed? Loving someone or being loved by someone?
I think that you will only feel blessed when they exist in tandem.

#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
very.

#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Leave it, recover, move on! Unless something else happens, then I'll play by ear.

#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?
The usual.

#10. Is being tagged fun?
Depending on the quiz lor!

#11. Where do you see yourself in 10 years' time?
A fully-qualified doctor, specialised or in the midst of specialising + married, probably with no kids yet + membership in a seasports club + keeping in touch with all my friends! (eh I'm greedy ><)

#12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
Immediate and first degree family, chloe, nel, 'parents', gracia, zabeo,.. do dead people count ):

#13. What kind of person is the one who tagged you?
Khai - tall type :D hahaha and rather Fluorine Oxygen Nitrogen, but in a fun way!
Jianwei - tall type also! Almost always there for me! and genuinely takes an interest in others' wellbeing

#14. Would you rather be rich and single or married but poor?
Eh.. married but poor, assuming it's a HAPPY marriage.

#15. What’s the first thing you do every morning?
Flip around on my bed and wait for my brother to get out of the bathroom.

#16. Would you give your all in a relationship?
yup! if it's worth it!

#17. If you fall in love with 2 people simultaneously, who would you pick?
Then I'm not in love --" Probably an infatuation or a crush, or maybe TWO infatuations and/or two crushes zzz.

#18. What type of friends do you like?
Aha. Supportive, lends non-critical listening ear, doesn't pangseh (: oh, and sporty + sporting!

#19. What type of friends do you dislike?
This question contradicts itself!

Eight people to tag:
1. nel :X
2. gracia
3. yishan
4. grace
5. alen
6. natalie
7. mich..
8. somebody who is too free!

Saturday, 2nd August 2008, 23:58

As I picked up the pen this morning to, with a few strokes of my signature, (as yishan puts it) sign away 11 years of my life to the Government of the Republic of Singapore, I did not (as I had wrongly expected) feel any trepidation or misgivings. I did spend the previous night wondering though, if the most painful decision of my life had gone the correct way - I knew that both decisions would have given me a bright future, a fulfilling career, potentially lucrative jobs... everything that I had worked towards for the past 18 years of my life!

But as I put my pen to that paper, I was pretty sure that choosing medicine over the OMS hadn't been an unwise choice (: I had a glimpse of the people I would be working with for the rest of my life, and let's just say I really like the look of them ((:

Saturday, 26th July 2008, 19:24

More than 43 hours ago, the minute hand of my clock clicked over the number 12, announcing the arrival of a new day and the start of my 20th year alive. Two SMSes were already sitting in my inbox, vying to be the first to wish me a very happy birthday (but sorry guys they don't qualify because they are 43 and 21 minutes too early x). Unfortunately I was feeling anything but happy because a excitedly anticipated lunch plus shopping trip with my dear friend Chloe had fallen through (RAWR I don't care if I didn't confirm it's still my birthday I have first dips!) so I had the happy prospects of either A) doing rag for the fourth day straight or B) lying around the house, chatting on msn, eating instant noodles and watching ER Season 2 for the second time. Wowee. so the SMSes/ facebook wall posts/ MSN messages came flooding in and I put on some false cheer for the sake of my endorphin-drugged wellwishers >< BUT, I'm happy to say that thanks to a large part to zabeo, my birthday progressed from horribly overcast to being nearly one of my best birthdays (x

0030 and still moping. One friend had exhausted her capacity to cheer me up and told me to sleep on it. I decided to talk to some random people on MSN whom I had met through online forums/ online games, but who were otherwise total strangers. And BINGO this totally arbitrary person with whom I spoke to actually cheered me up considerably (: our crazy conversation carried on for 2 hours and I finally went to sleep at 3. Woke up at 12 because I told myself that I'm not going to set any alarm clock on my birthday; I get to sleep as much as I want to! Unfortunately, I say, all parts of option B came true. I sat in front of the computer, eating instant noodles for breakfast/lunch. I moped around on MSN. I curled up on my bed to watch ER. Such dire circumstances. But then Nazrul came along and coerced me into going out because "it's your birthday! you're not spending it at home!" keke and as a result I discovered that Swensens gives a free Firehouse Birthday icecream sundae if you visit them on your birthday (: I never knew that they had such a birthday deal! but I was thickskinned and asked about it anyway ((: So after a few hours of getting to suan people, mini retail therapy in the form of three pairs of earrings and an icecream-induced endorphin high, I was prepared to say that the day had gone pretty well indeed!

But I have to say, today was the clincher. After our slightly hmm less-successful-than-expected visit to Jenaris Home at Pelangi Village, our OG's insane inertia caused us to oscillate between bumming at Yishan's house and going to the originally-planned Bishan Park cycling outing for a LONG TIME --" until the pendulum finally decided that Bishan Park was the way to go. Slacked around the fitness corner/ playground (I still can do pullups! My muscles haven't totally degenerated yet :DD although I must say I cheated a bit), walked to the bicycle kiosk before doing an aboutturn because we were "going to meet Yishan and co who had just arrived from lunch".... a birthday cake, a birthday song and ER Season 3. Thank you guys!! It was really sweet of you (: (: So. Chocolate-induced high + adrenaline-induced high is not a very clever combination especially when that is occurring in my body, but we went ahead with the cycling anyway. I had plenty of fun! Though my thighs and butt are probably going to die tomorrow, and my old knee problem is back again :\ my right knee hurts like CRAP when I put weight on it rawr! But in any case, we should do it again x)

And then tomorrow, 36 hours after the conclusion of the 25th of July, I'm dragging khai and hopefully nel out with me for lunch wahaha. The party just goes on and on, doesn't it (:

I am a lucky girl.

Yes I know I haven't updated in nearly two weeks. It's been either no time, no energy or no mood, or any combination of the three.

Sunday, 13th July 2008, 22:56

:D My family had lunch with Eden, Xinyun and their mum, supposedly as a treat/ bet thingy. Apparently Aunty Kang predicted that I would score all As for A Levels and that I would get into NUS Med, both of which turned out to be true, so my mum treated them! Hahaha. It was quite a fun get-together, albeit a bit rushed because Xinyun had some PW meeting (WHEEE I'm so glad PW is a thing of the past for me xD) to attend. And Eden is DAMN WHITE now. Which is ironic since most guys turn black when they go to NS, but I suppose he was already too damn black from 6 years of waterpolo that BMT didn't make any difference on his melanin production, so now that he's in OCS and permanently stuck in a classroom.. he became white! Rar. I hope we can all go for holiday together in US again! <3

My parents went to look for shoe rack afterwards at some Ulu place, and wowee! by some sheer luck we chanced upon a Nike warehouse sale going on downstairs. So in I floated, with my brother, who was more interested at laughing at the poseur bags and funny tennis dresses with holes at really strange places on sale. I'm very happy because I found two pairs of pants going at 23 dollars each :D (NOT, as Yi Shan blurpok-ly thought, track pants because why on earth would I need track pants :X) as a bonus, for the first time in a long long long long time, there was no need for me to alter them shorter! :D I love Nike! hahaha usually things that fit my hips are too long, and things that are of the correct length only fit people with I dunno, 18 inch waists --" so yay for Nike for making things just my size :D

Thursday, 10th July 2008, 11:20

I'm back from camp :D As usual I brought home two legfuls of injuries, scratches from wargame catfights and a truckload of memories (: Rar and I lost my voice from a combination of lack of hydration, excessive junk food eating while playing brainless games and cheering ><

Loved my OG.. we had representatives from a wide variety of schools, and although we weren't crazily enthu like Harpia... the guys were nice, the girls were man and we were onz enough to have plenty of fun <3 BUT ANYWAY I'm going to sleep now. I had one and a half hours of sleep last night this morning although I wasn't supposed to - I was supposed to stay awake and watch the sunrise with the members of Zabeo who managed to survive the night but noooo somehow around 6.20 I fell asleep :X Ah well. Alright, more later, after I've rested, cleansed myself of residual salt that the lao pok shower wasn't able to wash off and received the photos (:

Sunday, 6th July 2008, 17:51

I've finished my stint at RGS! And well... what an experience. What a rush of memories I had when I stepped into the side gate before 7.20 on that very first day, remembering that not that many years ago, I was just like one of those girls, rushing down from my classroom, desperately trying to fasten my insane hair into something that wouldn't fail a spot check, adjusting my belt, whatever. Walking around the school compound, visiting teachers, visiting the canteen aunties and uncles! visiting popular (the popular aunty is a different one now D:) brought such a wave of nostalgia back. I spent 4 of the best years of my life (so far) within these compounds, learnt a fraction of life's lessons here, experienced the academic rigour that is demanded of a Rafflesian girl, felt the power of girls' confidence and self-assertiveness, and I almost wished I could go back to being a blurpokky sec1 again haha - to experience netball carn yet again! or dramatizing Macbeth, or experiencing the very colourful Racial Harmony Day RGS never fails to organise. So this time I was back, but on the other side of the staffroom doors. Lunching with the teachers in the staff lounge was pretty cool as well! Now, I always knew that the teachers were slightly cuckoo (in a good, loveable way) with creative (warped!) ideas and interesting (weird!) mannerisms. But... now I know exactly how much good, clean, insane fun they have away from the eyes of the girls (x Seriously.. they are like worse than me!

OKAY that was such a disjointed paragraph :X I'm finding it hard to describe how I feel about RGS. So nevermind, let me introduce you to Mr Potato of the English department :D They have this toy thingy (ages 2+) that they claim they use to teach characterisation for EL/Lit/Drama, but I think they secretly indulge in dressing up in their free time! So anyway, they asked me to dress him up on the last day before I left, so that they had something to remember me by (so sweet :)

The scandolously undressed Mr Potato.


His orange feet are dirty because he had them on for ages before I came along :X


The green cap kept falling off ):


I had trouble deciding on a mouth ><


You may be forgiven for asking what on earth is that purple monstrosity. Just don't hurt Mr Potato's feelings by asking it too incredulously (:


The noses.


The eye-popping collection.


Arm attachments!

And SO. After subjecting Mr Potato to the unceremonious and undignified ignominy of being photographed naked :X I finally set about dressing him up as instructed by the teachers - "Dress him up NICELY or else!"

Tada! Especially big photo in his honour :D And yes, I know he looks a bit gay because of his effeminate eyes.

The only drawback of this impromptu relief teaching mission was that I didn't get to watch sailing nats ): But I hear that they did really well, even if they didn't enter a team ((: Go RJ!! And so I had to field questions about that --" "MISS CHAN (again, that dratted name) why aren't you supporting sailing?!?!" "Well, then I wouldn't be here, and you'd all fail your Summative Assessment horribly, wouldn't you?" HAIYA. I heard that almost the entire team turned up ): SAD AH. Wish I had been there. I miss the sun the sea the boats even if they were horrible MOE ones.

Anyways, looking forward to Med Camp tomorrow :D I'm pretty glad that I don't know the people in my OG well (I think so, anyway, don't recognize half the emails in there) because then I get to meet lotsa lotsa people, which is really, the true point of orientation (: So well, friend, I'm pretty disapointed in you :\ but I suppose that doesn't change things, does it? Anyhow, I shall go out there and have the time of my life (:

Friday, 27 June 2008, 15:32

I played a Balderdash derivative with my classes today, the purpose of which was for them to learn how to speak confidently, even though they know that that they're lying through their teeth about a pile of combustible rubbish. Confidence and being thick-skinned, I told them, can sometimes bring you further than mere ability. Sometimes. Or it can save your ass if you should forget your cue cards during your Summative Assessment in week 6 >< But the game really allowed the classes' intrinsic personality to shine through. The words/ acronyms/ movie titles that I used were real, but they were all steeped in hilarity (aha and here I must thank Cher Hao for helping me look for them ^^) for instance, a movie title I used was Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, which was some huge flop years ago.. the full synopsis can be found here, but to cut things short, here's how it goes (in my rather screwed up summary which blatantly misses out the more insane back part):

The denizens of Mars are concerned that their children are watching too much Earth television. Worried, they consult the great sage of Mars, who says this is happening because they are drawn to Earth’s freedom and vitality, in contrast to Mars’ rigid way of life. Hence, they kidnap Santa to make Mars more fun.

The classes are supposed to construct the plot synopsis given the title, and each group sent a representative to tell the rest of the class their synopsis (either real or fake, depending on whether I gave them a blank sheet of paper or one with words on them), and the class voted based on who was more convincing, on who sounded like the real thing.

So anyway. The classes' personalities. I gave both 304 and 310 the acronym GWBA, and they were supposed to expand the acronym, as well as tell me what this organisation does/ what this thing is used for/ what type of students go this academy etc etc, depending on what they invented. The fantabulous 310 came up with really, really hilarious stuff for instance:

"GWBA stands for George Washington Birthday Association (it really is! but they invented the back part about what the association does) and it lives to celebrate George Washington's birthday annually. Every year on his birthday, the association's members enter Madame Tussad's wax museum and throw cake and flowers at his statue."

I had the most random conversation with Cher Hao last night.. lol. We were discussing, to put it in his words, the dynamics of vibrations surrounding movements of tofu and jelly. Yes, our conversation was about the sounds that jellies and tofu make when they are thrown, judo-style, onto the floor. He has recommended that I write a paper, but for that I need a professor-mentor, and I somehow doubt I'll be able to find one (:

Alright, and NEL tagged me in a quiz, so I shall most reluctantly make this blog post even longer....
List the last 10 people who sent you an SMS, if they sent more than one SMS, list them once only
1) Gracia
2) Chloe
3) Mrs Lim (student's mother)
4) Natawee
5) Xin Yun
6) Mummy (lol!)
7) Mrs Sim (student's mother)
8) Nelleh
9) Michelle Lee
10) Desmond
ok I don't see what the point of this is since only 4 of them own blogs, including the one who tagged me

Phew. The width of my blog entries is not meant to accomodate quizzes RAWR >< It looks very very uglyyyy. And YESSS I dumped another annoying student today :X Who is also the daughter of #3 lol. Saw a something that made me feel feel (stereotypically) warm and fuzzy! The bus uncle of 163 was really niceeee. There was a small boy on board the bus and he needed to cross the road to get back home or something, and the bus uncle got off, held the boy's hand and helped him cross the road. So nice lor! ((: Chloe baked muffins today! Yummy yummy.

Wednesday, 25 June 2008, 22:30

My temporary students are strange --" I give them the liberty to call me Wan Fen but noooo they refuse to exercise that right? and insist on calling me Ms Chan. Z. It feels strange and I don't like it!. Uh. I walk in and say Hi! to them, walk out with a Bye! and it's been 3 lessons already and still they insist on standing up, bowing and intoning gooooood morrrrrrrningggggg misssssss chaaaaaaan --" What is WRONG with them; can't they take a hint? But by far the worst thing about these few classes that I'm teaching is their silence. As predicted by Ms Goh ("These girls have never been in a quiet class! How are they going teach such quiet classes!"), I am dying in there. Every single thing I ask is met by total, abject silence. Most of them looking at me attentively, but all of their mouths sealed shut. Gragh. Anyway, they're doing speech-making now and.. they're bored to death with the topic, and I'm bored to death with the topic. So I guess I'll have to think of something interesting to do in class, something that will hopefully get them to open their mouths, move their tongues and vibrate their vocal chords.

Pfft. I've started dropping my students/ telling them that I will stop teaching around start of July, and all I can say is this: GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD RUBBISH. >< well, to most of them anyway. I have two students begging me to stay :\ and since they're my favourite students as well, I told them that I'll try my best to stay until their end of year exams, but no promises. As to the bad rubbish... goodbye to rubbish sec1s who tell me 5a + 2b = 10ab, who feign ignorance, who refuse to make an effort yet expect me to make miracles! goodbye to absolutely lazy p2s with such humongous inertia they don't do homework without their parents' or my supervision! goodbye to bratty sec2s who whine their way straight through 2 hours of tuition! goodbye, and you may keep the fish (:

It was lucrative while it lasted, and I certainly had students who really made teaching really enjoyable, who were truly inspired and in turn inspiring, but the humongous number of bad eggs in the basket made it a rather perplexing task on the whole x_X

Saturday, 21 June 2008, 23:59

I give up! Too late, it's gone; it won't come back. (Highly unlikely, anyway)

Thursday, 19 June 2008, 13:50

I'm back from schoooool. Haha doing a short relief teaching stint of about 2 weeks for RGS, and I felt soo good to be back in that familiar environment, albeit I was doing so in the staff room, and random pupils were BOWING to me in the corridors (did we ever do that? I don't remember!! I know I probably did so for like the first few weeks of Term 1, Secondary 1, but under the influence of our seniors' non-bowingism, I stopped doing so :S) Rar. Met up with 2 ex-Chinese teachers, several English teachers who - rather disturbingly, I might add - seemed to all know my name despite not having taught me before :/, Ms Ning, Ms Goh, Ms Tan BC.. haven't seen the math teachers because they are esconced upstairs at the other staffroom, whatever its name is >< and Mr James Ong and Mr K Tan!! ("Of COURSE I still remember you!" - is that a good thing or a bad thing?) who recognized me at first sight. It was slightly strange singing the national anthem and saying the pledge all over again, after not having done so for upwards of 6 months, it was strange listening to morning assembly again, and stranger still to not see Mrs Deborah Tan up in front anymore.. and according to the teachers, three out of four of my sec 3 classes are mugger classes. Sadness. I haven't actually seen 3 of them, but the class I did go into today was kinda quiet and all that ): rarrr. Used to having noisy, hyperactive classes who occasionally have strange bouts of (mis)behaviour, but are so much more fun to be in - 314 and 414 would hardly qualify for "quiet and studious", while 07S03I was total bedlam (in a good way, of course :). But anyway, Ms Goh is the chem teacher for one of my classes and she says that they are "very curious individuals" so that sounds like fun :) Was a bit worried about whether I lacked classroom management skills, but so far so good!

Yesterday I met up with some of the girlssss - Nat and Grace - and spent the afternoon and evening bumming around. Watched Millions and some chick-flicky movie called the The Prince and Me.. which was corny and stereotypical but fun and brainless nonetheless (: Uhh chitchatted about various stuff, but somehow our daily conversation (with anybody of the same age) never flits far from Universities, Scholarships, Universities, Scholarships blahblahhhh ad nauseam >< At least a third of my sec 4 class is in NUS Med, and possibly the same proportion from my JC class is in there too :/ As Ms Goh so kindly put it, "THIS IS INCESTUOUS! THIS IS INBREEDING! Everywhere, Rafflesians are entering the medical fraternity, where they marry more people from the medical fraternity - who are also Rafflesians, duh - and produce MORE Rafflesians who are likely to enter the medical fraternity YET again." >< It's outbreeding, but yes, it's kinda true, I'll be seeing lots of familiar faces again.. but hey! Not all of them are my friends, I can always acquire more (: Anyways, we went for dinner, where we chatted about guess what? scholarships and universities again haha, and we visited Song&Song, looked at $20 Adidas jackets and debated about whether the store was illegal or not.. (: I miss seeing all my friends 5 days a week, 40 weeks a year. RAR. I want dates with all of you!!!

Chloeee will you go shopping with meeee?

Wednesday, 11 June 2008, 14:23

"Congratulations! (blahblah)... we would like to extend a warm welcome to you to the motoring society."

:D I passed my driving test about 3 hours ago. Teehee. The tester was being horrible to me most of the time :X and he kept telling me that the driving centre always teaches us the wrong things because we are their 摇钱树 and that I am practising all the wrong things that they teach. I was o.O? And he kept distracting me, saying "要多 check 你的 right side! 他们 hor 每次都跟你们讲要 check blindspot, 都是废话的。右边要紧；右边有车来你就没命了，blindspot 没有 check 只是别人没命而已。自己的命还是别人的命要紧？" !!! I'm sure he tell me that! LOL so anyway I was slightly scared that I would fail although I KNEW I was driving properly and really quite smoothly compared to my lessons. RAWR. So anyway, despite his constant criticism of my driving, he passed me. I bet he gets a kick out of scaring his testees hahaha. Testing people day after day after day - some of whom try to whine, beg, cry their way to fewer demerit points, some of whom shake and jerk so much that they feel like releasing their breakfast contents onto the dashboard - must get quite annoying or boring after a while, so I suppose they try to make it fun :/

Friday, 6 June 2008, 23:46

My left arm feels half-numb, half-achey after moving some heavy stuff around x.x Think I'd better call the BloodBank soon to ask why it's still like that after more than 1 week. And somehow the bruise from the needle shifted from the crook of my elbow to the inside of my arm o.O So strange. But on to the heavy stuff :D I persuaded my parents that I lack storage space for books and files (my old bookcase is sagging like my tricep fats and the doors can barely be slid open - I suppose it's not supposed to hold double layers of books and many kilograms of notes :X). And so last Sunday we went to this warehouse somewhere off Jalan Pemimpin, where I laid eyes on three handsome bookcases. Tall, solidly made bookcases that would look like they were built in to my room, apart from a slight difference in colour between the bookcase wood and my parquet floor >< The three beauties arrived this afternoon, and my whole room is in a mess now, with lots of old notes and books and files scattered across the floor and waiting entry into their new lodgings, various articles I'd forgotten that I owned looking forlorn in the solitary bin crammed with nonsense, plus an undercurrent of swirling dust and styrofoam bits left from assembling the cupboards ><

More later :D

Tuesday, 3 June 2008, 22:21

RAWR.

Thursday, 29 May 2008, 22:42

My arm hurts. Chloe and I went to try out Kimage's school of hairdressing today, and ummmm. I'm not used to my hair yet so I can't pass a fair judgement on it yet. And after that I dragged her along with me to the bloodbank, where I donated blood and she stoned outside --". Which is why my arm hurts. Usually it wouldn't, but the nurse who was doing the transfusion stuck the needle into a vein I don't usually use for donation o.O so it was mightily uncomfortable. But that wouldn't have been too bad, if not for the fact that somehow, the needle wasn't inserted correctly to draw blood, so for a loooong time the nurse kept asking me to "exercise" my arm, and the donation bag had a net gain of 0 ml of blood. Another nurse was called over, and she twisted the needle around (OUCH) and suddenly fwooooooosh a jet of haemoglobin-containing liquid shot out and into the tube and my blood donation was completed in i dunno 10 minutes. <_< Unfortunately, the aftermath of it was.. bleeding. After the needle was removed, I kept bleeeeding and bleeeeding until the nurse fetched an icepack the size of my GC and plonked it down on my arm. So now I have this humongous bruise that throbs, my arm can't be bent without aching and I'm supposed to take iron tablets for 20 days. Joy.

xD but I'll be back for my next appointment on 21 August! I might not yet be able to offer the gift of life through healing, but I can most certainly do so now through patience.

Haiya. On another note. Been feeling glooooomy, as Chloe can attest to. Not sure why, but I've just been hit by some kind of realisation that my friends are.. disappearing. And I'm pretty upset because they aren't mere acquaintances, but people I've known for years and years and years, all the way back to when memories blend into fantasies. There's my didi, who's been somewhat hard to talk to recently :X maybe it's because I try to talk to him at the wrong times when he's moody so I get snapped at :X And.. the enzyme, who routinely ignores my smses when she doesn't feel like answering >< Feel like I can't talk to anybody anymoreeee. Chloe is going to WARWICK!!!! and abandoning me here (in a school and faculty I want to be in, of course, but still). Junjie is.. in NS, and behaves like a typical NSBoy. And my most ancient friend of all (not in terms of age, of course).. feels like the most detached one. Sigh.

Wallowing, wallowing.

Friday, 23 May 2008, 22:24

YESSSS. I shall soon be classmates with Grace Lum. AGAIN. Wahahaha. :D I am actually physically trembling with excitement O_O But it's a good thing. Teehee.

Whoever writes the script of my life has an evil sense of humour. I imagine it must be amusing (in a sick, cruel, twisted way) to first force all scholarship agencies (including the healthcare-related ones) to turn me down because I staunchly told them "Medicine is my first choice". Then, he/she allows me to endure this huge grilling session by PSC board members as to how much I like medicine, gauging whether they should give me Local Medicine Scholarship or something similar under the inaugural OMS(Specialist) category. The unknown, scheming scriptwriter then puts his/her quill down, rubs his/her goatee/chin thoughtfully, mulling over what devious ploy to conjure up next. "AHA!" he/she thinks, "Let's put her through some mental agony!" So picking up his/her pen, the next scene unfolds..

On the set, the clueless girl is euphoric about receiving affirmation from PSC. The euphoria lasts all of one day, before she starts worrying about her choices - if she gets NUS Med, which should she go for? It's not a clear cut case because speech therapy and medicine are all very closely related. If she chooses speech therapy, she gets the privilege of being a guinea pig/pioneer in an industry on the brink of huge expansion, she would most probably be awarded a further PHD if she doesn't slack off, might get to be a lecturer, blahblah. Plus a nice healthy allowance from the government and lots of $$ if she goes into private practice. Then there's Medicine - the one course, the one thing she has spent more than half a year fighting for - applying to UK, Australia, even HONGKONG (RAWR), going to UK and freezing her butt off for the interviews.. unknown to her, the scriptwriter had a nightmare and decided that it would be an excellent plot device for the drama.

When the (first batch - ?) of Med results are released, her Joint Acceptance page has an SMU and NTU offer.. but no NUS offer. The scriptwriter cackles in his/her twisted pleasure at the girl's disappointment. What great fun! The ratings are going up up up! After a week, it gets boring watching her near-obsessive-compulsive behaviour of checking the Joint Acceptance page thrice a day, so.. reprieve!

Lol. Stupid scriptwriter. The irony of it all is that, before any admissions results were released and after PSC's offer, I was actually pretty torn between the two - it wasn't a clear cut case, like NUS Med and PSC.. Chemistry or something - they WERE in the very same field I aspire to work in. Yet when the admissions results were out, and I had no status <_< I suddenly wished I had been rejected (like, kicked out of the door) by PSC and that I had an offer from NUS. The longer the offer was withheld, the clearer I became about what I wanted. So.. it was a good thing after all :D And really, the screenplay over the last week has been terribleeee.

Ah well. Teehee.

Wednesday, 21 May 2008, 15:45

Agonisingggg.

Sunday, 11 May 2008, 00:36

It's finally up! Not completely done though - not all the archives are in, still looking for a suitable tagboard, and I am going to check up on my plugs and change/ delete as necessary dadadada... And I would like to jab very violently at the disclaimer and remind you that I am not emo. I just happen to like the song. Which Jon Muk sent me, incidentally. Anyway, I think this is gonna be a reeeeally long entry since I haven't blogged properly in more than eons.

I came back a few hours ago from Zhihong's (also Teseng's) grandfather's wake. The contrast in the moods of the two wakes was blatantly obvious, despite both of them being held at the exact same place: at Teseng's almost everybody was in shock, busily rushing out folding whatever it is that taoist rituals dictate they must offer before the funeral, with disbelief, confusion and shock as the backdrop. Whereas at his grandfather's wake, people were chatting, playing cards; there was a peaceful undercurrent with most people glad that his ordeal was over. Sigh. Still think about him at truly random times. Still no closure, no answers. The first thing his parents asked me when they saw me just now was, "Have you had any dreams about him since he died????" Man. There isn't a right answer to the question. Say yes, and you get hounded for every single detail - what did he look like? what did he say? when was it? and then have the dream - whether real or not - interpreted to death. Say no, and you get depressed, disappointed looks which at the same time accuse you of not thinking about said person more.

Then after which, his father who likes to shoot his mouth off, kept calling me his "Maybe Daughter-in-law" -.- because apparently he had a crush on me since J1, but he didn't dare make any move because I was already attached. I suppose it's.. flattering? But this is so WEIRD. I never caught any hints or subtleties from him, and I actually wish his father hadn't told me because this changes slightly my memory of him - good friend, good student, great to discuss literature and moan about school with, nursing unrequited love.. ew.

of scholarships and admissions.
If you're close enough to me, you would probably know about the horrible spate of interviews I had back in March with the UK universities for admission to Medicine. Out of the four to which I applied, I got accepted only by my backup, University of Birmingham. Rawr. And to think that the interviewers' opinion of me is CRAZY -
Interviewer (I): "So, have you been in UK for long? Do you like the place?"
Me: "Oh. Actually I just flew in to London this morning at 6am, then my father drove us up here."
I: "YOU MUST BE CRAZY! (and by the way we like crazy people so congratulations we are accepting you)"

Then there was that evil slew of scholarship interviews, where I was turned down by every single one of them for putting medicine as my first choice hahaha. In particular, the Singhealth scholarships -
I: "Actually, your results are very good. Did you apply for medicine?"
Before I could reply, the guy sitting next to the woman who asked the question leaned in and said in a stage whisper, "OF COURSE LA". -.-

Then. My luck seemed to turn teehee. Been accepted by SMU for Law, asked to go for scholarship interview. Been accepted to NTU for Double Degree in Business and Accountancy without an interview (finally something that was a breeze :X) and offered Nanyang Scholarship - another nonsensical interview:
I: "So why should we offer you this scholarship out of all these bright sparks vying for it?"
Me: "Because I am weird, and you can never have too many weird people."
At which they just stared at me for a while, and I grinned back stupidly. And then - an email congratulating me. o.O Strange, the way selection committees work. PSC too. Been offered OMS(Specialist) by them, but I forsee a long dilemma ahead - local medicine or the prestige of a scholarship to do something that's pretty closely related to medicine? A lot depends on NUS, and whether PSC is willing to change my country of offer. Early days, early days. Speaking of PSC Scholarships, I went for the tea session yesterday morning and! almost everybody there was going to read economics <_< or some kind of combination including economics. As a result I stood out. Along with another guy who wanted to do Psychology. Geeeeez. Not that I don't believe that every single one of the scholars is highly intelligent and capable, but shouldn't the admin service have people from a wide range of disciplines? >< Ah. And my PSC interview was a semi-fiasco:
I: "So you blog.. do you know anything about the video games ratings that has been changed recently?"
Me: "Yes.. (elaborate)"
I: "Do you play computer games?"
Me: "(am slightly perturbed by sudden change of topic) Yes.." (gets interrupted)
I: "OHHH SO YOU HAVE AN INTEREST IN COMPUTER GAMES, THAT'S WHY YOU KNOW ABOUT IT!"
Me: "Uh, it was in the newspapers yesterday, front page of home section."
I:: "YAH LAH, you have interest in computer games that's why!"
All I can say is: o.O Hahaha. But it was a fair interview I suppose. I was asked about a wide variety of current affairs issues, issues pertaining to my school(s), and myself (: Now just waiting for the one I want mostest mostest ><

of giving tuition.
Been going insane during the exam week. And I thought that this long holiday was supposed to keep me removed from the stresses of exam life for a while, but I reckoned without my job as tuition teacher >< All my students are having exams at the same time, all requesting for extra lessons - up to five in a week @.@ while this is all very well for my pocket (especially since I'm paying for my driving lessons ><) it also means that I'm perpetually rushing from one lesson to another. And easy though the primary and secondary school content may be, it's still draining, both intellectually and emotionally. ESPECIALLY emotionally. Almost all my students are pretty capable of doing reasonably well, IF (a really big if, I might add, sigh) they would only spend just a leeetle bit more time and effort on their studies, instead of spending 2 hours a day on the phone gossiping about their form teacher to their classmates, playing their PSPs (I hate to say this but, spoiltspoiltspoiltbrats) or just spacing out. It's really difficult trying to help them revise their work when they have forgotten things that they only just learnt the year before (example, sec 1 student happily tells me 2x + 3x = 5x². wow.) or forgotten things that I have merely told them about twenty times before. RAWR. Frustrating, frustrating job trying to help them revise - one minute they remember, the next minute they insist colourfully that you have never ever mentioned the first syllable of the topic in question <_<

And then there are the students who win me hands down at procrastinating :D Take for instance, this boy, to whom I'm giving tuition in English, Math and Science. One fine Sunday, he hands me his Sing to the Dawn book and is practically crying for help. Soo.. I'm not a mean person (I think) and I relented. I read his lit book for him and did character and relationship analyses for the main characters in less than 24 hours. All for the low, low price of 75 dollars <_< Sometimes I feel like I'm taken for granted - Buy a tuition teacher today! Will allow you to magically acquire As in your examination without any work! Assessment books and spare parts sold separately.

Sigh. The most saddening thing though is not the way I'm expected to produce fountains of knowledge and skills within their brains, but rather, the amount of wasted potential and time I get to witness almost everyday. Letting time slip by carelessly, these live humans, when the time could have been put to better use by some people who are don't deserve to be six feet under.

of public transport.
Teaching tuition demands that I traverse the island on public transport (no more cushy mummy taxis since I'm earning my own keep hohoho), with the result that I get to see a lot of the not quite fabled Ugly Singaporean. On the MRT, there are typical scenes of people who like to position themselves right smack in the middle of the doorway. I saw this Indian man (leaving the train), annoyed, he stood right at the doorway and raised his voice, "HOW do you expect to board the train when you are not letting me leave?" The traindoorjammers just looked at him blankly --" until half a minute later when they realised that he wasn't going to budge, that they started to shift aside. Respect. And then once I was on the bus, and the aroma of curry puff suddenly permeated the otherwise stale air - turned around and saw an old Malay lady eating a curry puff - which wouldn't have been too bad (maybe she was starving and her body was wracked with gastric pains), except she stuffed the curry puff wrapper and plastic bag in the recess between her seat and the side of the bus. Z. People like that don't deserve to complain about public transport hikes when their own actions are causing the bus companies to have to increase their expenditure, to clean up after them. And then there are plenty of cases of uncontrollable kids, shrieking, bouncing off the walls, trying to slither up and down the seats/ poles like a couple of phythons. Except phythons don't nearly make as much noise. Or eat sweets (THAT WERE OFFERED BY THEIR PARENTS!!) noisily. OR try to leave a trail of their DNA across the windows using their oral faculties.

of driving lessons.
Teehee. I think I should be able to get my license by August, provided I pass the test the first time :O. Since passing my BTT in early April, I've been chionging lessons, mostly doing back-to-back lessons, twice a week x.x Love most of my instructors.. some of them are really nice and patient and keep telling me to "relac" at the start of each lessons, slowly guiding me step-by-step through the more complicated manoeuvres, then there are those who keep chatting to me about seriously random stuff (one instructor said I was TALL, oh yeah, all less-than-one-point-six-metres of me is TALL), but there are also those who keep silent throughout the lesson (possibly dozing behind those lovely expensive shades of theirs) then rattling off a list of errors that I made during the lesson at the end <_< Am very thankful for the many delightful instructors though :D

of SAT II.
As some of you might know, I'm going to take the SAT Subject Tests. Though I'm not intending to apply for US universities any time soon. I'm doing it because I'm bored, my brain requires some fuel and for fun (yes that is my idea of fun, so sue me). AND I must have a short rant here. Been using the Princeton Review books, finished Chemistry so far, and GEE there are a serious lot of errors in the book! For instance, prior to studying the book, I've never known about atoms being positively and negatively charged atoms ("When an atom loses an electron, it becomes a positively charged atom, when it gains an electron, it becomes a negatively charged atom"), that ideal gas law assumes that gas molecules occupy volume, that Fe2O3 is Iron(II) oxide, or that the storage carbohydrate of plants is cellulose. And there is the small matter of contradictions.. first the book says that diamond molecules are covalently bonded, a few lines down it says that they are a "network solid,... consist[ing] of atoms joined to form molecules that attract each other through IMF", and lastly to round up this fiasco, the end-of-chapter summary pronounces that the covalent network is held together by shared electrons.

I can see how I will ace the test using this book.