Sunday, 11 May 2008, 00:36

It's finally up! Not completely done though - not all the archives are in, still looking for a suitable tagboard, and I am going to check up on my plugs and change/ delete as necessary dadadada... And I would like to jab very violently at the disclaimer and remind you that I am not emo. I just happen to like the song. Which Jon Muk sent me, incidentally. Anyway, I think this is gonna be a reeeeally long entry since I haven't blogged properly in more than eons.

I came back a few hours ago from Zhihong's (also Teseng's) grandfather's wake. The contrast in the moods of the two wakes was blatantly obvious, despite both of them being held at the exact same place: at Teseng's almost everybody was in shock, busily rushing out folding whatever it is that taoist rituals dictate they must offer before the funeral, with disbelief, confusion and shock as the backdrop. Whereas at his grandfather's wake, people were chatting, playing cards; there was a peaceful undercurrent with most people glad that his ordeal was over. Sigh. Still think about him at truly random times. Still no closure, no answers. The first thing his parents asked me when they saw me just now was, "Have you had any dreams about him since he died????" Man. There isn't a right answer to the question. Say yes, and you get hounded for every single detail - what did he look like? what did he say? when was it? and then have the dream - whether real or not - interpreted to death. Say no, and you get depressed, disappointed looks which at the same time accuse you of not thinking about said person more.

Then after which, his father who likes to shoot his mouth off, kept calling me his "Maybe Daughter-in-law" -.- because apparently he had a crush on me since J1, but he didn't dare make any move because I was already attached. I suppose it's.. flattering? But this is so WEIRD. I never caught any hints or subtleties from him, and I actually wish his father hadn't told me because this changes slightly my memory of him - good friend, good student, great to discuss literature and moan about school with, nursing unrequited love.. ew.

of scholarships and admissions.
If you're close enough to me, you would probably know about the horrible spate of interviews I had back in March with the UK universities for admission to Medicine. Out of the four to which I applied, I got accepted only by my backup, University of Birmingham. Rawr. And to think that the interviewers' opinion of me is CRAZY -
Interviewer (I): "So, have you been in UK for long? Do you like the place?"
Me: "Oh. Actually I just flew in to London this morning at 6am, then my father drove us up here."
I: "YOU MUST BE CRAZY! (and by the way we like crazy people so congratulations we are accepting you)"

Then there was that evil slew of scholarship interviews, where I was turned down by every single one of them for putting medicine as my first choice hahaha. In particular, the Singhealth scholarships -
I: "Actually, your results are very good. Did you apply for medicine?"
Before I could reply, the guy sitting next to the woman who asked the question leaned in and said in a stage whisper, "OF COURSE LA". -.-

Then. My luck seemed to turn teehee. Been accepted by SMU for Law, asked to go for scholarship interview. Been accepted to NTU for Double Degree in Business and Accountancy without an interview (finally something that was a breeze :X) and offered Nanyang Scholarship - another nonsensical interview:
I: "So why should we offer you this scholarship out of all these bright sparks vying for it?"
Me: "Because I am weird, and you can never have too many weird people."
At which they just stared at me for a while, and I grinned back stupidly. And then- an email congratulating me. o.O Strange, the way selection committees work. PSC too. Been offered OMS(Specialist) by them, but I forsee a long dilemma ahead - local medicine or the prestige of a scholarship to do something that's pretty closely related to medicine? A lot depends on NUS, and whether PSC is willing to change my country of offer. Early days, early days. Speaking of PSC Scholarships, I went for the tea session yesterday morning and! almost everybody there was going to read economics <_< or some kind of combination including economics. As a result I stood out. Along with another guy who wanted to do Psychology. Geeeeez. Not that I don't believe that every single one of the scholars is highly intelligent and capable, but shouldn't the admin service have people from a wide range of disciplines? >< Ah. And my PSC interview was a semi-fiasco:
I: "So you blog.. do you know anything about the video games ratings that has been changed recently?"
Me: "Yes.. (elaborate)"
I: "Do you play computer games?"
Me: "(am slightly perturbed by sudden change of topic) Yes.." (gets interrupted)
I: "OHHH SO YOU HAVE AN INTEREST IN COMPUTER GAMES, THAT'S WHY YOU KNOW ABOUT IT!"
Me: "Uh, it was in the newspapers yesterday, front page of home section."
I:: "YAH LAH, you have interest in computer games that's why!"
All I can say is: o.O Hahaha. But it was a fair interview I suppose. I was asked about a wide variety of current affairs issues, issues pertaining to my school(s), and myself (: Now just waiting for the one I want mostest mostest ><

of giving tuition.
Been going insane during the exam week. And I thought that this long holiday was supposed to keep me removed from the stresses of exam life for a while, but I reckoned without my job as tuition teacher >< All my students are having exams at the same time, all requesting for extra lessons - up to five in a week @.@ while this is all very well for my pocket (especially since I'm paying for my driving lessons ><) it also means that I'm perpetually rushing from one lesson to another. And easy though the primary and secondary school content may be, it's still draining, both intellectually and emotionally. ESPECIALLY emotionally. Almost all my students are pretty capable of doing reasonably well, IF (a really big if, I might add, sigh) they would only spend just a leeetle bit more time and effort on their studies, instead of spending 2 hours a day on the phone gossiping about their form teacher to their classmates, playing their PSPs (I hate to say this but, spoiltspoiltspoiltbrats) or just spacing out. It's really difficult trying to help them revise their work when they have forgotten things that they only just learnt the year before (example, sec 1 student happily tells me 2x + 3x = 5x². wow.) or forgotten things that I have merely told them about twenty times before. RAWR. Frustrating, frustrating job trying to help them revise - one minute they remember, the next minute they insist colourfully that you have never ever mentioned the first syllable of the topic in question <_<

And then there are the students who win me hands down at procrastinating :D Take for instance, this boy, to whom I'm giving tuition in English, Math and Science. One fine Sunday, he hands me his Sing to the Dawn book and is practically crying for help. Soo.. I'm not a mean person (I think) and I relented. I read his lit book for him and did character and relationship analyses for the main characters in less than 24 hours. All for the low, low price of 75 dollars <_< Sometimes I feel like I'm taken for granted - Buy a tuition teacher today! Will allow you to magically acquire As in your examination without any work! Assessment books and spare parts sold separately.

Sigh. The most saddening thing though is not the way I'm expected to produce fountains of knowledge and skills within their brains, but rather, the amount of wasted potential and time I get to witness almost everyday. Letting time slip by carelessly, these live humans, when the time could have been put to better use by some people who are don't deserve to be six feet under.

of public transport.
Teaching tuition demands that I traverse the island on public transport (no more cushy mummy taxis since I'm earning my own keep hohoho), with the result that I get to see a lot of the not quite fabled Ugly Singaporean. On the MRT, there are typical scenes of people who like to position themselves right smack in the middle of the doorway. I saw this Indian man (leaving the train), annoyed, he stood right at the doorway and raised his voice, "HOW do you expect to board the train when you are not letting me leave?" The traindoorjammers just looked at him blankly --" until half a minute later when they realised that he wasn't going to budge, that they started to shift aside. Respect. And then once I was on the bus, and the aroma of curry puff suddenly permeated the otherwise stale air - turned around and saw an old Malay lady eating a curry puff - which wouldn't have been too bad (maybe she was starving and her body was wracked with gastric pains), except she stuffed the curry puff wrapper and plastic bag in the recess between her seat and the side of the bus. Z. People like that don't deserve to complain about public transport hikes when their own actions are causing the bus companies to have to increase their expenditure, to clean up after them. And then there are plenty of cases of uncontrollable kids, shrieking, bouncing off the walls, trying to slither up and down the seats/ poles like a couple of phythons. Except phythons don't nearly make as much noise. Or eat sweets (THAT WERE OFFERED BY THEIR PARENTS!!) noisily. OR try to leave a trail of their DNA across the windows using their oral faculties.

of driving lessons.
Teehee. I think I should be able to get my license by August, provided I pass the test the first time :O. Since passing my BTT in early April, I've been chionging lessons, mostly doing back-to-back lessons, twice a week x.x Love most of my instructors.. some of them are really nice and patient and keep telling me to "relac" at the start of each lessons, slowly guiding me step-by-step through the more complicated manoeuvres, then there are those who keep chatting to me about seriously random stuff (one instructor said I was TALL, oh yeah, all less-than-one-point-six-metres of me is TALL), but there are also those who keep silent throughout the lesson (possibly dozing behind those lovely expensive shades of theirs) then rattling off a list of errors that I made during the lesson at the end <_< Am very thankful for the many delightful instructors though :D

of SAT II.
As some of you might know, I'm going to take the SAT Subject Tests. Though I'm not intending to apply for US universities any time soon. I'm doing it because I'm bored, my brain requires some fuel and for fun (yes that is my idea of fun, so sue me). AND I must have a short rant here. Been using the Princeton Review books, finished Chemistry so far, and GEE there are a serious lot of errors in the book! For instance, prior to studying the book, I've never known about atoms being positively and negatively charged atoms ("When an atom loses an electron, it becomes a positively charged atom, when it gains an electron, it becomes a negatively charged atom"), that ideal gas law assumes that gas molecules occupy volume, that Fe2O3 is Iron(II) oxide, or that the storage carbohydrate of plants is cellulose. And there is the small matter of contradictions.. first the book says that diamond molecules are covalently bonded, a few lines down it says that they are a "network solid,... consist[ing] of atoms joined to form molecules that attract each other through IMF", and lastly to round up this fiasco, the end-of-chapter summary pronounces that the covalent network is held together by shared electrons.

I can see how I will ace the test using this book.